Crash

There are moments in life where an incident happens and it shakes you to the core.  You are quickly reminded that nothing in this life is guaranteed and in mere second's everything can change.  I am only 35 and yet I have already attended more funerals then I can remember.  I have been in the 911 type field for over 15 years now.  I have seen, witness, and heard as strangers lives are turned upside down.  The amount of crashes we handle in dispatch is constant to the point it just becomes the norm and yet it is one of the worst days for those who crash.  At the same time working in the Law Enforcement field I am very well aware the dangers my Trooper face.  You try to not dwell on it because it will drive you to the point of a nervous breakdown while at the same time keeping it in the back of your mind so you are prepared when the worst happens.  It is a delicate balance and at times it can be exhausting.  I have two friends who have been shot while on duty.  One carries the bullet still in his leg while the other one is paralyzed from mid chest down.  I have heard my Troopers yelling for help when a suspect is on the attack or they are in a foot chase.  This weekend alone I had one of my Troopers scream into the radio for a code 3 as he was attacked by a very angry person.  A code 3 means they need help NOW as they feel their very life is in danger.  Everyone responds lights and sirens and once they arrive on scene it is as if time stops until dispatch is advised everyone is ok.   

 

Its screams like that from Troopers I know and love that stick with me and often haunt my dreams.  Thankfully that Trooper is ok and two suspects were taken to jail.   What I worry about most though is one of my Troopers getting hit by a car or in a horrific crash.   48 officers have been killed this year alone in the US from auto related incidents, this isn't counting the number who have been hurt which is a LARGE amount!  I have worked when Troopers have to dive out of the way of a speed car or were purposely run over.  I have worked when Troopers have been in crashes where they have rolled or been hit by another vehicle.  Working on the highway is extremely dangerous as you are dealing with high speeds and inattentive drivers.  After the incident with my Trooper needing the code 3 I couldn't shake a nagging bad feeling, like something else was going to happen.  I tried to shake it off thinking I was being crazy as it has been yet another rough week for Law Enforcement with 10 officers killed in only 9 days and that is all I seem to see on Facebook (that and the stupid elections).  One of my favorite things to do in the mornings right now is talking to one of my Troopers, Trooper Crapo, who has quickly become a good friend (she even teaches CPR with me now). 

 

 

She comes in at 5am so we have an hour were we get to work together before I go home.  She is always making me laugh and I look forward to 5am just because of her.  We even text on days off to share fun stories or just catch up.  When she checked in Sunday morning that feeling came back hard and strong.  By the time I got home I sent her a message to be safe and to take pictures of the Christmas tree for me since she was assigned to help escorted the National Christmas tree down SH55.   After that I fell asleep only to wake up hours latter to my phone going crazy.   Crapo had been in a crash and it was bad.  My heart stopped and my mind raced.  I was hearing things like she had to be taken my Life Flight, she might have broken her back and her arms, and may have hurt her head.  I learned a large pickup truck pulling a trailer came around a corner too fast crossing the line and hitting Crapo head on and on the driver's side.   I started to get text messages of her car that churned my stomach. 

 

 

I broke down crying not knowing what to do.  I thought about going to the hospital but was told by multiple Troopers to wait.  I broke down.  I cried harder than I have in a long time and felt hopeless.  Finally one of my Troopers sent me a text that not only was she going to be ok but that they were already going to let her go home.  She was sore but only had sprains and a badly bruised body.  One of the wives who was at the hospital advised that she was in good spirits and tough as nails.  The relief that flooded over me was instant while at the same time it broke me down into more sobbing mess.  My poor puppies didn't know what to so they just curled up with me and stayed by my side.  I felt very alone that whole afternoon, and am so thankful for my dogs who gave me what comfort they could.  I was emotionally and physically drained but still had to pull myself together to go to work.  At work my sup wanted to let me know how good of a job I did on the code 3 call and I broke down crying all over again as I was utterly exhausted.  Today I heard from Crapo and I couldn't help but smile when I saw her name pop up on my phone.  I know she was being watched over and I am so thankful she will be ok.  Tell those you love how much you love them, don’t wait!  Cherish the time you get to spend with people you love and make wonderful memories that you can hold onto.   And take pictures, lots and lots of pictures.  J